News From the Front
Just a small update on the whole "Abby-friend-in-need" thing for those who are keeping score.
Right after my last post things got really good for a little while but as of about 2 weeks ago or so I pretty much decided that, based on the reactions that I've been getting off 'Abby' for the last few weeks, the most prudent move would be to back off. The only thing worse than having someone asking for help and throwing it back in your face is trying to give them completely unsolicited help and trying to be that "be-there-for-you-guy" when it's more than likely not a welcome gesture. I mean, after all, they didn't ask for the help so why knock myself out offering it when I can't realistically expect anyone to be open to it?
Well, I do know the reason. It's because I'm an idealistic schmuck, but I digress.
All my efforts really did was strain the friendship so I had to back off, make myself less available and pretty much kept on keeping on. No more after work talks, no more coffee runs, no more listening to her talk about her life and family. Not without a direct signal to the contrary.
A bit to my surprise, 'Abby' made no effort to connect voluntarily after that so I guess it's pretty clear that the whole friendship was 90% me and an undetermined amount on her end (I'm leaving it open in case there were other forces that deserve a percent or 5 credit). I feel kind of burned but it's like when you're a kid and your mother tells you the oven is hot but you still have to stick your hand on the element to be sure.
Ah well, I have my own life to worry about, I don't have time to get mired in other peoples affairs if I'm not needed.
It's always frustrated me that becoming friends with someone is so analogous to dating, male or female. There's the meet-cute, the courtship, the dating, and sometimes it sticks while other times there's the dodged phone calls and hard feelings. And no matter how hard you try, it's often the ones you really want that turn you away. That's usually for the better, though, because a lot of times the one we want is not someone who is good for us and the universe will step in and sometimes provide the one you need to pick up the pieces.
I should do a little post script and say that on the other side of the "Abby" coin is a happy ending of sorts. A couple of other people at work (one who I've been friendly with for a while and another who I didn't think cared for me much but has suddenly showed a lot of interest) have sort of thrown themselves into the ring and have helped divert some attention from the situation. It looks like we might start some group hang-outs with some other folks from work so...
Onwards and upwards!
Right after my last post things got really good for a little while but as of about 2 weeks ago or so I pretty much decided that, based on the reactions that I've been getting off 'Abby' for the last few weeks, the most prudent move would be to back off. The only thing worse than having someone asking for help and throwing it back in your face is trying to give them completely unsolicited help and trying to be that "be-there-for-you-guy" when it's more than likely not a welcome gesture. I mean, after all, they didn't ask for the help so why knock myself out offering it when I can't realistically expect anyone to be open to it?
Well, I do know the reason. It's because I'm an idealistic schmuck, but I digress.
All my efforts really did was strain the friendship so I had to back off, make myself less available and pretty much kept on keeping on. No more after work talks, no more coffee runs, no more listening to her talk about her life and family. Not without a direct signal to the contrary.
A bit to my surprise, 'Abby' made no effort to connect voluntarily after that so I guess it's pretty clear that the whole friendship was 90% me and an undetermined amount on her end (I'm leaving it open in case there were other forces that deserve a percent or 5 credit). I feel kind of burned but it's like when you're a kid and your mother tells you the oven is hot but you still have to stick your hand on the element to be sure.
Ah well, I have my own life to worry about, I don't have time to get mired in other peoples affairs if I'm not needed.
It's always frustrated me that becoming friends with someone is so analogous to dating, male or female. There's the meet-cute, the courtship, the dating, and sometimes it sticks while other times there's the dodged phone calls and hard feelings. And no matter how hard you try, it's often the ones you really want that turn you away. That's usually for the better, though, because a lot of times the one we want is not someone who is good for us and the universe will step in and sometimes provide the one you need to pick up the pieces.
I should do a little post script and say that on the other side of the "Abby" coin is a happy ending of sorts. A couple of other people at work (one who I've been friendly with for a while and another who I didn't think cared for me much but has suddenly showed a lot of interest) have sort of thrown themselves into the ring and have helped divert some attention from the situation. It looks like we might start some group hang-outs with some other folks from work so...
Onwards and upwards!
posted by Mike Jozic at
1:39 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home