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The poem I was discussing in my last post is finally 'done'. I put that last word in quotes because I'm still not 100% set on the title or the ending. I recently sent it off to a friend for a critique and as I typed it out I found myself hating the original ending. I changed it probably five times before finally sending it off. I won't hear back for a few days, but I'm feeling pretty confident that this is the way it'll probably stay, so I'm posting it here as such.
Fade to Black
It's late and you've fallen asleep in my arms.
Our bodies entwined, flesh to flesh, fitting
effortlessly together like two found pieces
completing a puzzle.
The low light of the room amplifies
the silence. I can only see the contours
of your face by the warm glow of the candlelight,
the rest of you dissolving beyond and below
the blanket that covers us.
Your eyes that, only hours ago, looked at
me with desire and your lips that tasted
my longing, now lie quiet and still.
I hold you and feel the warmth of your body
against me, the rhythm of your breath, comforting.
I brush your hair back with my hand, touch your cheek,
but you don't stir.
I don't think I've ever seen you
so peaceful,
so still,
so beautiful.
I wonder to myself how long I'll have this moment,
have you.
I watch the last embers of light die
as you fade to black
and quietly await the dawn.
So, there it is. Number three in a series, I guess. My wife calls my stuff 'sad-sack' writing because of the subject matter I deal with. It's all about love, loss, and the big one, longing. I suppose she has a point, but some of the so-called sad stuff I don't actually view as sad. That may say something about me as a person, but we'll leave that little bit of psycho-analysis right there.
That's it for today. If you're reading this, I hope you like the poem. Comments are welcomed if you feel moved to do so. I should also point out that this is my fifth or sixth post this year which means I'm already doing 5 times better at updating this blog than I have in the past.
It's a good thing.
Cheers.
Fade to Black
It's late and you've fallen asleep in my arms.
Our bodies entwined, flesh to flesh, fitting
effortlessly together like two found pieces
completing a puzzle.
The low light of the room amplifies
the silence. I can only see the contours
of your face by the warm glow of the candlelight,
the rest of you dissolving beyond and below
the blanket that covers us.
Your eyes that, only hours ago, looked at
me with desire and your lips that tasted
my longing, now lie quiet and still.
I hold you and feel the warmth of your body
against me, the rhythm of your breath, comforting.
I brush your hair back with my hand, touch your cheek,
but you don't stir.
I don't think I've ever seen you
so peaceful,
so still,
so beautiful.
I wonder to myself how long I'll have this moment,
have you.
I watch the last embers of light die
as you fade to black
and quietly await the dawn.
So, there it is. Number three in a series, I guess. My wife calls my stuff 'sad-sack' writing because of the subject matter I deal with. It's all about love, loss, and the big one, longing. I suppose she has a point, but some of the so-called sad stuff I don't actually view as sad. That may say something about me as a person, but we'll leave that little bit of psycho-analysis right there.
That's it for today. If you're reading this, I hope you like the poem. Comments are welcomed if you feel moved to do so. I should also point out that this is my fifth or sixth post this year which means I'm already doing 5 times better at updating this blog than I have in the past.
It's a good thing.
Cheers.

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